I've been struggling with loneliness for quite some time now, and oddly enough, I am actually getting used to it. Most days I seem to be OK with it, with brief moments where I actually don't focus on it. And for the most part, I've come to accept it, like an old worn sweater, or a tight-fitting glove. I think that what I keep telling myself is that it's just for a season, and that God has something for me to learn during these times, but that doesn't always make it easier to get through those moments. I still greatly desire to have a wife and children, and I know that feeling will be there until the day I finally have them.
Until then, I am learning to take one day at a time, trying not to focus on the feelings of frustration, doubt, and anger. Instead, most days I am rather melancholy, and have learned to enjoy having some time by myself where I can read a good book, watch a little TV, or go out for breakfast and a long walk. I know better than most people (as a budding counselor) that when times like this happen, it is best to busy oneself with life's steps, try not to focus on the feelings, and let things happen as they may. But, I am such a control freak that it's rather difficult for me to release, rest, and run to God instead. I am definitely a work in progress, with some distance to travel still...
Happy Friday!
2 comments:
yes, it seems loneliness is an ever-constant battle for many...i went from living completely alone to a house with 2 other adults, a baby, and a dog...holy moley...i am preparing myself for maybe a different kind of loneliness...we'll see.
aaaahhh...a fellow control freak. ;)
Thanks for sharing. I pray God's best for you in this time and in your future with Mrs. Mannie.
Hope you remember your name today.
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