Loneliness is a bitch (harsh, but true). I am tired of seeing everyone else get what I want. Finding someone to love, being loved by another, getting married, having children, raising a family. Man was not designed to be alone; that is why God created woman. Yet, I am still alone.
I am sick and tired of going places and being by myself - a restaurant, a store, a mall, the movies, etc. I once had hopes and dreams of being a husband and a father, but not so much anymore. I am beginning to doubt it will ever happen. Each passing day I see another gray hair in my sideburns and goatee. I am beginning to feel my age; my body aches. I wake up each morning alone, and fall asleep each night alone. I go to school, come home each night, and spend too much time without someone to talk to, to share a meal with, to read a book or watch TV beside, to nap along with, or to sit in blissful silence with.
I am not expecting an answer from anyone, and am really tired of their sympathy or lack of patience. People don't know what to say to me, how to treat me, what to do with me. Being single isn't all that some people think it is - I'd trade places with just about anyone else.
I have turned the comment feature off on this post, as I don't want anyone to post the same old, same old. I am not expecting sympathy, suggestions, or even prayers. I am being honest, raw, and vulnerable. My life is really difficult, as I struggle getting through each and every day. God knows my heart, as He gave me these desires. Yet, I am not comforted by His presence - I cannot talk to Him face to face, argue with Him, plead with Him, or even question His will. He is not keeping me company when I need it the most. I will always follow Him, but I am having a really hard time understanding why I am alone.
A single glove, a single sock, dinner for one...all missing something. Just my thoughts and feelings, that is all. Honest, raw, vulnerable, and lonely.
